I waved him “ goodbye” and could see him going out of my sight. .”Wait” my heart said as it was about to cry , with a grief of the fact , quite unbelievable, although that this was the last time to see him, hear him
“Our last meet.” I thought.
“But why? “ I questioned myself repeatedly on my way back home, though, failed to get any answer .Probably because he did not give any reason apart from saying
“ Naina , its wrong”.
“Why ? why cant we be just friends, siddharth?” said I.
“No thats not possible, probably never .Forget me and forgive me”. Siddharth said as he got down from the autorickshaw and started walking towards his home .
And me still waiting for him to turn back once, just to see him for the last time. I just wished I could just hold back his wrist to stop him to say “Be happy”, but I just watched him going away helplessly with the pain of losing him forever......... I could feel a chill of pain all through my body, a fear of losing my new friend.
“Was it a friendship or more than a friendship…. I just wished I could define this relationship”.
Its been many months we have been attending the same coaching class but just a few days when we really got to know each other. To be precise just ten days of a wonderful feeling to know a person like him.
A year later of a tedious coaching we “actually” met at one of the entrance tests for a reputed college for my Master In Business Management. Although in the crowd of hundreds, but, lonely when I suddenly happened to see a known face coming from the distance.
We noticed one other , and eventually aur footsteps got us together . We spoke on many topics starting from the colleges to apply and so on.. until the time when we had to go to our respective classes for the entrance test . While he was about to enter his class. . Probably it was a sign of a beautiful relationship on a verge of evolving with a drastic ending.
“Hey , Naina, we shall meet up at the same place after the test.”
“ok, Siddharth” smilingly said i and left for my class.
When i reached the class, it was as if i could pass the time as quickly as i could, just to meet him again. There was a kind of liking i had developed for this guy already within this few minutes of the meet. But as soon as we got the question paper i got engrossed or rather lost in it. Finally to realise that the time is over.
As soon as we were given the permission to leave , without wasting any time came back to the place we met .
To my distress I could not find him anywhere, somewhere from the back I heard “hey u already there”. It was a sigh of relief when i saw him coming towards me with a big smile.
“Hey “.
“I thought you left “ said i.
By that time i could feel that there was a bond that had already created.
I could see the spark in his eyes and so could he, we walked down the distance without knowing how its gonna be.
Everything was so special, although it was a summer afternoon with the hot sun right above us, but his words and company did not make me feel so. We spoke about many things with each time appreciating his sense of humor .
Finally after exchanging our mobile numbers , we took our individual paths to the way back home. On returning back home , i was astonished to see his mail ---
“hey this is Sid (we met for the test at abc colllege)
I wasnt so sure about your surname “Roy”.
Do reply.”
My happiness knew no bounds upon reading the mail and i replied immediately.
“Yeah , you are perfectly right . This is Naina Roy.
I have sent you an invite on Google talk. Accept it.”
I dont know the reason but i was waiting for the reply from my new friend. But i didnot receive not atleast till 1 was awake. Then even i do not remember when my eyelids met ...
Only to find out that he had messaged me in the morning at 2.30am to come online but..
“Oops i missed it” wondered i .
Then i messeged him saying that “ hey i had slept last night. Message me when wanna chat”
There was something special about Siddharth which didnot let me forget him or rather kept me thinking about him all time.
Finally i received a message from him stating
“am free from work, can we chat?” .
I gave an affirmative answer. And as we started chatting i was amazed to find that he was a gem of a person while my eagerness to know him more grew each moment.....
Through one of those conversations he told me about his girlfriend, shilpa. The girl of his life and for the first time i felt jealous of someone i never had even met. But for me it was him. Although i felt bad of him being engaged with a girl but still i just wished to be his friend, to be beside him forever . i just wished to hear him and nothing more.
Then we were back to our individual lives when suddenly, i hear my mobile ringing. I was astonished to see him calling me in the midst of night.
Hi “, said i .
“ Naina , i have called you to say something important.”
“ Is everything alright” i asked.
“ Yeah! But i just wanted to tell you that we should never ever speak again.
I was spellbound . All i could do was to listen to him as he went on...
“I dont know whether you would understand me or not but all i could say is forgive me and forget me. We cant be friends and i cannot do this.”
“But what happened?” i enquired.
“Nothing but i cant do this naina.”
“ Do what ? Can you please tell me clearly. We are friends right?”
“Naina if i continue talking to you , i dont think we can just be friends and i have a girlfriend and i cant hurt her.”
“Please forgive me and forget me. I apologise for everything, but please never ever try contacting me . Goodnight and goodbye”
“But....” and before i could finish and give my justification , it was imposed on me. I had no choice but to accept it.
There were a number of questions running althrough my mind for which i did not had any convincing answers.
I thought may be this was the ending but then why did we meet. Why was it so difficult for me to forget him? We meet hundreds of people in our lifetime, we dont remember them all, then why did he leave a mark of remembrance in my life?
I did not had any answer to any of the questions . But i could feel that there was a relationship that had already evolved . A relationship beyond words to be expressed and explained....
I waited for him to call back and change his decision but the call never came. Finally i decided not to feel bad for losing him but to be happy that atleast i had met him and start a new journey with the memories that i had shared with him.
When suddenly one fine day, i received a call letter from a reputed college for the Essay Writing and Personal Interaction . I quickly recalled that even he had applied for the same.
I travelled this long stretch thinking about our last meeting, sitting in the college lounge, i spent my time just waiting. Thats when i saw him though standing quite far, but could soon make out that he was the one my eyes were looking for.
As he saw me he came towards me extending his hands and saying
“Hey , good to see you here.”
I smiled as we entered the room where he waited for me for my Pi to get complete. Later we departed another B school , decided to walk down the lane till we got a rick. Our last journey was like two dumb guys who could communicate only through eyes. I just wish i could steal this moment but it seemed that the auto was moving ahead of time.
Finally, the moment arrived for us to depart as i watched him helplessly walking by to his home. Didn’t knew how the time went on. Just wished the hour was back. But, yes time doesn’t wait for anybody and I too lived with the fact that probably I deserve somebody.
Every relation has got its own definition… I might have felt a pinch in my heart of losing him, yet I am happy for the time that I’ve spent with him..
Probably that’s why I call it “A Relationship Undefined…….."
